A Series of Unfortunate Muscle Contractions

So, tonight while I was at work, I found myself rummaging through our supplies drawer in search of mints or the essence of joy or whatever. I eventually managed to find a small package of gum with a single, lonely stick remaining. Someone, in their evil genius, had torn the front of the packaging off, removing any trace or indication of what flavor the gum was. All I knew was that it was of the Trident Layers variety, which combine multiple flavors together in a taste explosion much like the exploding gum from Mission Impossible.

"And then it's all, BAM! Blue Raspberry outta nowhere."

Friday! Friday! A Day Which Will Live in Fun-famy! And Shame.

If you haven't already been treated to the musical, lyrical, and visual abortion that is Rebecca Black's Friday video, you simply must. I'd venture to guess that this video may someday even replace Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up as the go-to hyperlink prank. But, beneath the horrifyingly inane lyrics ("Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. Today it is Friday, Friday... Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards."), the laughably bad tween "dancing", the head-scratching video effects, and Usher's inexplicable rap cameo, there may lie motives far more sinister.

"On second thought, why don't you just take the bus."

A Comprehensive List of Things That Make My Day

Read the title.

   Now read it again.

      Read it once more!

Bwahahahaaa!

*Ahem* Let's begin....

A Comprehensive List of Things That Freaking Creep Me Out

Read the title. You're good to go.